One Simple Request

What do
murderers do
when they do
nothing?

Do they ever
do
nothing?

Maybe that's why
they started
killing?

Maybe I should start
doing nothing
more often.

Maybe you should too.

Matter of fact,
I think
the whole world
should do
a whole lot of
nothing.

Don't say anything,
don't think anything,
don't do anything,
just
for one second
admire
your
life.

The Regular

The first place I
would travel to
when I croak
is the bar.

I'd plant myself
on a stool
at 6 am
and stay
till the end of
eternity.

Time
would mean
nothing
to me.

Neither would money.

I guess,
booze too.

I'd just sit there
and soak up
everybody's
last bit
of energy,
until I had enough
to manifest
right before
their blood shot eyes,
behind the bar,
naked,
with my balls
cooling
on the limes
and the tap
of the finest beer
right in
my butt cheeks.

Fellas,
this round's
on me.

The Most Beautiful Creature on Earth

I love animals,
especially my pets,
both past and present.

They have been
through it ALL
with me.

From the worst
of times,
to the best.

One such memory
snuck up on me
today.

My mother
came home one day
after work
and decided
to get it
over with.

She selected
the perfect knife
and the perfect spot.

Right
on the kitchen floor,
she began
to slice.

Cut by cut,
she tried
to end
her life.

Curious
as to what
she was doing,
our dogs
began
to surround her.

Jet, our lab,
began licking
her face,
giving her love
at the lowest
moment
of her life.

He didn't judge,
nor did he try
and stop her.

He just
licked.

Eventually,
she gave up
and with slober
on her face,
she called
her sister
for help.

She was saved,

By our dog.

The most beautiful
creature
on Earth.

Jelly Beans

Everybody
has their
quirks.

If you don't,
I suggest
you get some.

Multiple,
to be exact.

They are,
if you didn't know,
what makes
a person
interesting.

Normal.

Perfect?

Boring.

Lose a leg.

st st st start
stuttering.

Don't bathe.

Go into a store
and stare
at jelly beans
for hours
on end.

Till the owners
call the mental
health department
to take you
away.

Put these
quirks
into
your daily practice
and watch
as the madness
drips
away.

It's easy.

You'll never
have to worry
about anything
else
again.

Except for,
of course,
jelly beans.