My belly is full
of shit,
still I keep on piling
more and more
fast food,
liquor,
and other shit
on top of the shit
suffocating my belly.
My tits have grown,
they want to drag themselves
on the floor
with my feet.
My waist line has exploded,
no clothes dare
to try and stretch themselves
around it.
My belly button has vanished,
there's nothing left,
but a black hole
sinking
deeper into my core.
I wish I was there too,
hiding myself away
from the ever growing ugliness,
away from everything,
eating my own lint
and belly hair,
turning into a pathetic pale worm
that loses itself in a perfectly new flesh cave.
My new home.
That would be nice
and easy
and pleasant
and most importantly
simple,
the only way
life should be live.
One day
I will have such peace.
Everyone of you will.
I will become the worm.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
The Blasphemous Pussy
There's a church across the street
and every sunday
damned souls come to pray
for their sins
and during the week
AA meetings are held,
those helpless drunks need to pray
for their sobriety.
My eyes
peering through the blinds
watch them come,
watch them go,
completely bored
and saved.
My mouth
opening for a moment,
says they are all fucked,
says they need a wake up call.
Here he comes...
He's big, black, hairy,
and nutless.
He roams the streets
without a care
and makes cars stop
and wait.
He glares, they honk,
he takes his time, licks his ass
until he's goddamn good and ready to cross the street.
He strolls through the lawn
and shits on the cross.
After, he blocks the entrance to the church
and waits
for someone to open the door.
Once he slivers inside,
piss blasts out of his furry cock
and onto the pews.
They kick him out.
They kick him out again and again.
He's a reject of the greatest proportion
and doesn't care.
That's why
there will always be a bowl of cat food
on my front porch
for you,
my good friend.
and every sunday
damned souls come to pray
for their sins
and during the week
AA meetings are held,
those helpless drunks need to pray
for their sobriety.
My eyes
peering through the blinds
watch them come,
watch them go,
completely bored
and saved.
My mouth
opening for a moment,
says they are all fucked,
says they need a wake up call.
Here he comes...
He's big, black, hairy,
and nutless.
He roams the streets
without a care
and makes cars stop
and wait.
He glares, they honk,
he takes his time, licks his ass
until he's goddamn good and ready to cross the street.
He strolls through the lawn
and shits on the cross.
After, he blocks the entrance to the church
and waits
for someone to open the door.
Once he slivers inside,
piss blasts out of his furry cock
and onto the pews.
They kick him out.
They kick him out again and again.
He's a reject of the greatest proportion
and doesn't care.
That's why
there will always be a bowl of cat food
on my front porch
for you,
my good friend.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Follow Her Dreams
She looked half
dead,
but healthy
and for the first time
in years,
skinny.
Her drastic diet
had worked.
Who knew
such suicidal practices
would lead
toward a better
physique?
At first,
I was concerned,
extremely,
and terrified
she would die.
My aunt
convinced me
otherwise.
She wears
a scarf now
everyday
even when
the sun's arms
burn the skin of
everyone.
She sweats,
doesn't mind,
she has to hide
the bruises,
but never
her newfound body.
New skirts,
shorts,
dresses,
and tights.
Who knew
this would work?
Every morning,
she places a noose
around her slender,
tender
neck
and hangs herself,
not leaving her feet,
just enough
till she passes out.
She has help.
She has her
daughter,
spot her,
untie her,
and put her
to rest...
for hours
she sleeps
and when
she wakes,
she can't eat.
Her throat
is swollen
and in excruciating pain,
therefore
food is of no
need
and she has no desire
to stuff her now
skinny face.
She takes
vitamins
and supplemental nutrients
with water
and this is all
she can hold
down
and all she cares to
swallow.
50 lbs
in two weeks
and the noose gains attention
from her impressionable
daughter.
The cycle continues...
The diet
is flawless
and is spreading
and to think
it all began in her
dreams.
You can be weightless
too
just follow
her lead.
dead,
but healthy
and for the first time
in years,
skinny.
Her drastic diet
had worked.
Who knew
such suicidal practices
would lead
toward a better
physique?
At first,
I was concerned,
extremely,
and terrified
she would die.
My aunt
convinced me
otherwise.
She wears
a scarf now
everyday
even when
the sun's arms
burn the skin of
everyone.
She sweats,
doesn't mind,
she has to hide
the bruises,
but never
her newfound body.
New skirts,
shorts,
dresses,
and tights.
Who knew
this would work?
Every morning,
she places a noose
around her slender,
tender
neck
and hangs herself,
not leaving her feet,
just enough
till she passes out.
She has help.
She has her
daughter,
spot her,
untie her,
and put her
to rest...
for hours
she sleeps
and when
she wakes,
she can't eat.
Her throat
is swollen
and in excruciating pain,
therefore
food is of no
need
and she has no desire
to stuff her now
skinny face.
She takes
vitamins
and supplemental nutrients
with water
and this is all
she can hold
down
and all she cares to
swallow.
50 lbs
in two weeks
and the noose gains attention
from her impressionable
daughter.
The cycle continues...
The diet
is flawless
and is spreading
and to think
it all began in her
dreams.
You can be weightless
too
just follow
her lead.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
The Brazen Bull Inside Her
Her blood was boiling,
her flesh was boiling,
her soul was boiling.
The only release
she felt
was through her veins.
The only way
to stop the boiling
was by cutting her wrists
over and over again
with a dull knife.
The only way
to forget the searing pain
was by choking
on pills.
The only way
to be happy
was to die,
leave her kids,
her family,
her life
behind.
The only release
for her family
was to peel away
the layers of pain
from their lives.
They could not
let this happen.
They, too,
jumped in the burning agony,
not out of desperation,
but to relate,
to boil
with her
and find a way
to extinguish
the flames
that burns their home.
her flesh was boiling,
her soul was boiling.
The only release
she felt
was through her veins.
The only way
to stop the boiling
was by cutting her wrists
over and over again
with a dull knife.
The only way
to forget the searing pain
was by choking
on pills.
The only way
to be happy
was to die,
leave her kids,
her family,
her life
behind.
The only release
for her family
was to peel away
the layers of pain
from their lives.
They could not
let this happen.
They, too,
jumped in the burning agony,
not out of desperation,
but to relate,
to boil
with her
and find a way
to extinguish
the flames
that burns their home.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Public Defendaz Interview
The trial is over. The verdict is in. Based upon irrefutable evidence, We, the jury of Lynt Superior Court, find the defendant, Public Defendaz, guilty of all the following charges. Count 1 is arson. Taktical, Tha Oktapus, Royal, IyayI, and DJ Onebreeze, deliver burning razor-sharp and insightful lyrics, torching every block in the county from the sulfur filled gutters of Paso to the crouch reeking dance clubs of SLO. Sucka MCs beware. You may end up lost in the ashes. Count 2 is drug trafficking. PD constantly supply dope beats to all of the Hip Hop fiends on the Central Coast, keeping them hooked and strung out for life. They can never get enough. Count 3 is involuntary manslaughter. PD out rhyme, outwork, out hustle each and every up and coming hip hop group, causing the competition to run and hide and eventually die out under Morro Rock.
PD’s rap sheet goes on, extending the entire length of Highway 101. Lynt doesn’t have the print space available to list the amount of charges they are guilty of. Their potential is limitless, so instead we will let them speak for themselves.
Lynt: Introduce yourselves to all of the unfortunate who have been in a coma under Bishop’s Peak…
PD: We go by the name “Public Defendaz”…and we’re here to make music for the people.
L: Why the name Public Defendaz? How did it come about?
PD: Well we make our music for the people, to voice an opinion. So basically, we speak for the people through our music. Oktapus & Taktical actually came up with the name one night passn’ by the courthouse on the way downtown…
L: What does PD represent as a group? Is there a message PD is trying to get out to the masses?
PD: Pub Def represents Hip Hop plain and simple. We have multiple messages we portray through various songs, but we’d say there’s an underlying message to “be yourself, don’t be afraid, and be independent.”
L: How many albums have you released?
PD: We’ve released 4 albums so far and by the time you read this we should have released our 5th. “Speedy Trial Vol. 1”, “Tampered Evidence”, “Mixtape Premier”, and “California Connection”.
L: What can newcomers expect when they get deflowered at a PD show?
PD: A lot of energy, lyrical wordplay, and a hell of a good time. If you get a chance to see us perform live, don’t sleep on it.
L: What has been PD’s greatest achievement to date?
PD: Winning last years “New Times Hip Hop Achievement Award” was a great accolade. Also the fact that we’ve performed with so many artist we respect (Rakim, Dead Prez, Heiro, etc)…And of course, the love we get from our family and fans.
L: Is there any new albums the fiends can expect in the near future? What’s in store for 2011?
PD: Well by the time you read this “Speedy Trial Vol. 2” should be released. And we’re currently working on a new compilation as well as a new studio album for 2011...So keep your ears and eyes open!!!
For booking:
Cassidy Wright:
Publicdefendaz@gmail.com
805-215-4053
www.facebook.com/publicdefendaz
http://publicdefendaz.bandcamp.com
www.reverbnation.com/publicdefendaz
PD’s rap sheet goes on, extending the entire length of Highway 101. Lynt doesn’t have the print space available to list the amount of charges they are guilty of. Their potential is limitless, so instead we will let them speak for themselves.
Lynt: Introduce yourselves to all of the unfortunate who have been in a coma under Bishop’s Peak…
PD: We go by the name “Public Defendaz”…and we’re here to make music for the people.
L: Why the name Public Defendaz? How did it come about?
PD: Well we make our music for the people, to voice an opinion. So basically, we speak for the people through our music. Oktapus & Taktical actually came up with the name one night passn’ by the courthouse on the way downtown…
L: What does PD represent as a group? Is there a message PD is trying to get out to the masses?
PD: Pub Def represents Hip Hop plain and simple. We have multiple messages we portray through various songs, but we’d say there’s an underlying message to “be yourself, don’t be afraid, and be independent.”
L: How many albums have you released?
PD: We’ve released 4 albums so far and by the time you read this we should have released our 5th. “Speedy Trial Vol. 1”, “Tampered Evidence”, “Mixtape Premier”, and “California Connection”.
L: What can newcomers expect when they get deflowered at a PD show?
PD: A lot of energy, lyrical wordplay, and a hell of a good time. If you get a chance to see us perform live, don’t sleep on it.
L: What has been PD’s greatest achievement to date?
PD: Winning last years “New Times Hip Hop Achievement Award” was a great accolade. Also the fact that we’ve performed with so many artist we respect (Rakim, Dead Prez, Heiro, etc)…And of course, the love we get from our family and fans.
L: Is there any new albums the fiends can expect in the near future? What’s in store for 2011?
PD: Well by the time you read this “Speedy Trial Vol. 2” should be released. And we’re currently working on a new compilation as well as a new studio album for 2011...So keep your ears and eyes open!!!
For booking:
Cassidy Wright:
Publicdefendaz@gmail.com
805-215-4053
www.facebook.com/publicdefendaz
http://publicdefendaz.bandcamp.com
www.reverbnation.com/publicdefendaz
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Her Tragedies Grow Like Weeds in the Rain
She had three different children
with three different men,
all
of the so-called "fathers"
failed her
and her children.
She survived
on her own
working, paying the bills, caring for the kids,
barely getting by,
but
still getting by.
Then,
one night
her son died in a car accident.
The most awful moment
of her life.
She wept and wept
until her light blue night gown
was soaked
with tears
and the sun rose up
forgetting to dry them.
The years moved on,
somehow.
She received a settlement
to make up for her tragic loss,
with the money
she got her own house,
something she thought she'd never
possess,
but there she was
moving in furniture and planting roses.
The house
had only cost her
a son...
Was his death worth it?
In her mind
never.
The house's walls
built up her depression,
boiled her blood,
and strangled her spirit.
Suicide
was attempted
again and again,
but she couldn't bring herself
to lose her other two children.
She had to carry on
with life
and support them
and be strong.
She always had
to be strong.
Depression still lingered,
money dwindled,
bills piled to the ceiling,
she didn't work much,
she couldn't.
She lost the house,
her dream,
her life,
her child.
She's moving again
like she has
many, many times before.
Depression will no doubt
settle
right in
with her,
put holes in the roof,
clog the toilet,
and break her heater
on the coldest of winter nights.
Will there ever
be an end?
Will she ever
persevere?
Will she still
be strong?
Will she
survive?
Or will her tragedies
continue to bloom
and laugh
in the rain?
with three different men,
all
of the so-called "fathers"
failed her
and her children.
She survived
on her own
working, paying the bills, caring for the kids,
barely getting by,
but
still getting by.
Then,
one night
her son died in a car accident.
The most awful moment
of her life.
She wept and wept
until her light blue night gown
was soaked
with tears
and the sun rose up
forgetting to dry them.
The years moved on,
somehow.
She received a settlement
to make up for her tragic loss,
with the money
she got her own house,
something she thought she'd never
possess,
but there she was
moving in furniture and planting roses.
The house
had only cost her
a son...
Was his death worth it?
In her mind
never.
The house's walls
built up her depression,
boiled her blood,
and strangled her spirit.
Suicide
was attempted
again and again,
but she couldn't bring herself
to lose her other two children.
She had to carry on
with life
and support them
and be strong.
She always had
to be strong.
Depression still lingered,
money dwindled,
bills piled to the ceiling,
she didn't work much,
she couldn't.
She lost the house,
her dream,
her life,
her child.
She's moving again
like she has
many, many times before.
Depression will no doubt
settle
right in
with her,
put holes in the roof,
clog the toilet,
and break her heater
on the coldest of winter nights.
Will there ever
be an end?
Will she ever
persevere?
Will she still
be strong?
Will she
survive?
Or will her tragedies
continue to bloom
and laugh
in the rain?
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Where's God?
Where's the blackness?
The great dark sky
plunging us
into
an endless misery.
Where's the fire?
The enormous flame
burning our souls
into
ashes.
Where's the plague?
The incurable disease
eating us alive,
devouring our loved ones.
Where's the hate?
The world war
killing all,
filling mass graves.
Where's the end?
Anticipation is murderous.
Slow...
We've waited centuries,
we don't deserve
this boundless torment.
The suspense needs to cease,
humanity
has run its course.
Where's God?
We need our Father.
The great dark sky
plunging us
into
an endless misery.
Where's the fire?
The enormous flame
burning our souls
into
ashes.
Where's the plague?
The incurable disease
eating us alive,
devouring our loved ones.
Where's the hate?
The world war
killing all,
filling mass graves.
Where's the end?
Anticipation is murderous.
Slow...
We've waited centuries,
we don't deserve
this boundless torment.
The suspense needs to cease,
humanity
has run its course.
Where's God?
We need our Father.
Monday, January 3, 2011
How Could I Forget?
He is slipping
away...
With each passing day
his memory
burrows
deep
past his grave
into the forgotten.
His voice
once loud and unmistakable,
now a whisper
fading.
His touch
once warm and embracing,
now is cold,
no longer felt.
His heart
once open and beating,
now a muscle,
dead and empty.
His life
once wild and unpredictable,
now long gone,
buried beneath
the wasted days,
the lonely nights,
the broken dreams.
The thought of forgetting
is unbearable,
but it's happening
with ease.
My ears are going deaf,
my hands are losing grip,
my heart can no longer stand
to be blue,
my life is somehow complete
without you.
How can I do this
to you?
How could I forget
you?
Will our spirits
ever meet
again?
away...
With each passing day
his memory
burrows
deep
past his grave
into the forgotten.
His voice
once loud and unmistakable,
now a whisper
fading.
His touch
once warm and embracing,
now is cold,
no longer felt.
His heart
once open and beating,
now a muscle,
dead and empty.
His life
once wild and unpredictable,
now long gone,
buried beneath
the wasted days,
the lonely nights,
the broken dreams.
The thought of forgetting
is unbearable,
but it's happening
with ease.
My ears are going deaf,
my hands are losing grip,
my heart can no longer stand
to be blue,
my life is somehow complete
without you.
How can I do this
to you?
How could I forget
you?
Will our spirits
ever meet
again?
Thursday, December 30, 2010
No Need
Most
only see beauty
on the outside.
Beauty
is PHYSICAL
and nothing else.
Beauty
doesn't describe them
or many others.
Only a choosen few
can proclaim
this arrogant word.
Those
that cannot,
look in the mirror
with disgust
at their hideous nose
or wandering eye.
When on the street
they aim their frustration
at the woman with hairy
arm pits,
they laugh
at a big head,
mock
a small ass
with wide ankles
and missing toes
and that
is all they see
until they get home
to the mirror.
They never
look past your imperfections
or their own.
That is all
they see.
They don't
realize the overwhelming
BEAUTY
lying beneath.
They don't
see magnificent, dangerous
eyes
hidden behind the nose
or the unbelieveable
hips
under the petite breasts
or the radiant soul
shinning through
their unpleasantness.
They see
no beauty.
They see
no soul
because they
themselves
have lost
their own.
They have become one
dimensional
and will forever
stay as one.
There's no changing
their hideous
thoughts
and there's no changing
your imperfections
so why
try?
only see beauty
on the outside.
Beauty
is PHYSICAL
and nothing else.
Beauty
doesn't describe them
or many others.
Only a choosen few
can proclaim
this arrogant word.
Those
that cannot,
look in the mirror
with disgust
at their hideous nose
or wandering eye.
When on the street
they aim their frustration
at the woman with hairy
arm pits,
they laugh
at a big head,
mock
a small ass
with wide ankles
and missing toes
and that
is all they see
until they get home
to the mirror.
They never
look past your imperfections
or their own.
That is all
they see.
They don't
realize the overwhelming
BEAUTY
lying beneath.
They don't
see magnificent, dangerous
eyes
hidden behind the nose
or the unbelieveable
hips
under the petite breasts
or the radiant soul
shinning through
their unpleasantness.
They see
no beauty.
They see
no soul
because they
themselves
have lost
their own.
They have become one
dimensional
and will forever
stay as one.
There's no changing
their hideous
thoughts
and there's no changing
your imperfections
so why
try?
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Are We in Love?
Your clothes
are on
and mine
are off.
I'll use your favorite word
to describe how
I feel,
awkward.
You keep
your beautiful body
away from me
and not
the rest.
Now tell me
while I'm still naked,
why is that?
Are we in love?
I guess
I'll never
know.
are on
and mine
are off.
I'll use your favorite word
to describe how
I feel,
awkward.
You keep
your beautiful body
away from me
and not
the rest.
Now tell me
while I'm still naked,
why is that?
Are we in love?
I guess
I'll never
know.
I Wish This Was a Lie
The hours
with yourself
seem to be
too long
and the days
spent
with someone else
seem to be short.
This is the was
life
was never meant
to be,
yet
this is the only
life
we know
and there's not
a fucking thing
we can do about it.
with yourself
seem to be
too long
and the days
spent
with someone else
seem to be short.
This is the was
life
was never meant
to be,
yet
this is the only
life
we know
and there's not
a fucking thing
we can do about it.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
In Between the Death Traps Lies Flashes of Inspiration
I am going to fail
all my life.
I am going to give up
and make mistake
after mistake.
I don't mind.
I am still
going to try
and demand nothing
in return.
In this meaningless existence
I will not put up
a meaningless fight.
I will stand firm
and believe in myself
and find out about myself
in every possible way,
no matter
how miserable life gets,
no matter
how long I survive.
This is a promise
I will never break.
all my life.
I am going to give up
and make mistake
after mistake.
I don't mind.
I am still
going to try
and demand nothing
in return.
In this meaningless existence
I will not put up
a meaningless fight.
I will stand firm
and believe in myself
and find out about myself
in every possible way,
no matter
how miserable life gets,
no matter
how long I survive.
This is a promise
I will never break.
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