Sunday Funday

It was early.

We were all hungover.

The only cure:
hair of the dog.

Mimosas to be exact.

We went through pitchers.

I don't remember
past noon.

Here's what I've been told-

I was stumbling
downtown,
climbing the streetlights,
scaring the sober and innocent
with threats of
beheadings and castrations.

I was a monster.

Allegedly.

I eventually made it
to my friend's house.

I was talking
nonsense,
just being a drunken fool.

I decided to leave.

I had to pee.

Her neighbors stopped me
for a nice friendly
chat.

I still had to pee.

I did so
in my pants
right in the middle
of our conversation
and didn't stop
till
I was finished.

I acted as if nothing was happening.

It was.

They were appalled.

I ran off.

To where?

I don't remember.

I just recall
waking up,
in my cousin's room,
and my friend
came up
and we laughed
and watched
It's Always Sunny.

Because it always is
on Sunday
Funday.