Sunday, December 18, 2016

Heavy Metal Fans Rejoice

I fucking love ozzy. With no father in my life to speak, he stepped up to the plate and raised hell within me. He showed me that there's no such thing as crazy. There's only you. Let yourself shine like an insane motherfucker that you are. But, his current music sucks ass. It makes sense. He's old as fuck and tired and drugged out and disintegrating into his grave. We need a substitute. Someone to carry on the torch that he so brilliantly lit. Summerlands is that band. Sure their name is kinda weak, but they make up for it in traditional bad ass heavy metal riffage and the lead singer sounds almost exactly like ozzy, except its not. It kicks some serious ass. Give it a good fucking listen, will ya?

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Blue as My Heart

I love the blues. It touches me to the deepest of my core. It lifts me up when life's kicked the shit out of me and gets me going whenever I've had a couple of shots of warm shitty whiskey. I'm always on the lookout for blues I've never heard before. There's a shit ton of it too. Especially on vinyl. Today, I happened to stumble across a new old record. It's the Buzzerfield Blues Band and they are tight as fuck. I love them. I love the piano, the guitar, the horn, and the drums and the goddamn  wigger singing. It's amazing. It's cold. It's blue as my heart. Check them out below and feel what I'm talkin
bout.
 

Sunday, November 20, 2016

As Dope As It Gets

I first heard Aesop Rock on Wu Tang Meets the Indie Culture. That album was dope as fuck. Underground. Sick beats. The illest Mcs. Wu Tang. Nuff said. Rock was on a track with Del. They both killed the track and I've been a fan ever since. His voice is soothing. His rhymes are ridiculous. He's  so far ahead of his time. Or nowhere near time at all. More like air walking in an alternative dimension. Blind aka high as fuck. Rhyming his dick off. His new album The Impossible Kid is a perfect example of that. Bat shit crazy good. Don't sleep on this.

Monday, November 7, 2016

The New Soul

I've always been a sucker for classic soul. Something about it just resonates me. It makes me smile. It makes me high. But there's only so much soul out there. I don't want to say that I've heard it all, but it's pretty damn close. Today, some try and capture that same style and classiness and live musicianship, to no avail. Of course, there's Leon Bridges, Maxwell, Anderson Paak, and so on. I just don't think they have the same appeal as BJ the Chicago Kid has. He's got style. He's got the voice. He's got the band. He's new. He's fresh. At the same time, he's also paying tribute to all of those that have paved the way before him. He also brings in a lil hip hop flavor to the mix. Like in his song "the New Cupid". Check it out below. He just might capture your ever fading heart.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Good Poetry

Poetry does not interest me. Although, I do write it. However, when I go and read someone else's, I find nothing. It's a shame with such beautiful language at our disposal, we have such monstrous piles of horseshit to shift through. Every once in a blue cock, I do find something that intrigues me. Reagan Butcher is one of these motherfuckers. His book, Stone Hotel, is about the time he spent in prison and it fucking amazes me and inspires me. Not to go to prison, but that you can turn such an awful and horrendous dose of life and still manage to make a lush garden out of it. This is the first poem:

Wild-Eyed Pistol Waver

showing the
gun

to the korean
man

behind the counter

my voice smooth as syrup
saying

the money

his blank face

screwed into puzzlement

his voice a question

the money?

i got pissed

yeah, the money, motherfucker
or i’ll kill you

but that was a lie

there was
only one person

in that room i wanted
to kill

and he
is sitting right here

telling you
this

Get this book here:Stone Hotel: Poems From Prison, now you fools. Unless, you really enjoy reading that boring ass shit. Your decision.

Doom Metal Fuckers

Hour of 13 makes my nipples and my taint hard. Yeah that's right I said it. The lead singer, Phil Swanson, sounds like a young ozzy and looks like a fucking bum. It's fucking awesome. Combine his miraculous voice with some slow asss, heavy ass, catchy ass fucking doom metal, then you have fucking eargasms for days, for months, for as long as you listen to them. I've been listening to their last album, 333, for years now and I'm still in love with it. It's a goddamn shame they haven't released anything since then because I'm clawing at my veins in hope of another fix. Please Hour of 13 release something, anything, any time soon here or I'm afraid they'll be nothing left of my flesh and I really don't want to feel the pain of my broken nails scraping across my scarred bones.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Underground Hip Hop That Must Be Heard

Underground hip hop is the ruler. All else seems severely lacking in dopeness and soul. Paranom is one of these artist pushing the boundaries of what it means to make good music for our mind, body, and spirit. It's too bad because his videos have only about 1000 views, which means his talent is far from recognized. If it was up to me, his music would be on the radio. It would be played in schools. It would be played all across the fucking country. He reminds me of a cross between early Mobb Deep beats and grimeness and Rakim's delivery and just 90s boom bap rap in general(the best era for hip hop). Everything amazing. IT's what hip hop should sound like. On top of all that, his spitting always has a hint of wisdom and a hard truth giving me goosebumps with every track I hear.

Cope his shit boi!
 

Monday, October 24, 2016

New Rock: Bosnian Rainbows

It was devastating to find out that the Mars Volta broke up. They were our Led Zeppelin. They were psychedelic, mysterious, talented, and just plain amaze balls. That is until mountains of shit rains down from god's butthole and we are left here to clean up the mess. Fuck. Oh well, c'est la vie. Some people go on and get fat. Some people create more music, which is what the extremely talented and prolific Omar Rodriquez-Lopes did. PS, his name is like the hispanic version of Billy Bob, you think? Well, Billy bob went on to create Bosnian Rainbows. Though they are not as good as MV, but they stand on their own, largely impart thanks to Teri Gender Bender. Another great name. She or he sings hauntingly beautiful and perfectly compliments Omar's experimental guitars and the rest of the bands fucked up trippy creations. Their music is perfect to listen to on a cloudy day, when all you want to feel is the void between your body and the outside world. If you're doing that now, then watch the damn video belows.


Sunday, October 23, 2016

New Metal: Thulcandra

Dissection is one of the greatest metal bands of all time. When I first heard "The Somberlain" I was completely blown away. It was what metal was supposed to represent. The darkness, the melody, satanic lyrics, and screams and drums and all of it captivated my impressionable rebellious mind. Then, the fucker died. Leaving a void in metal scene. Years later, enter Thulcandra. If you have not heard of them and you like Dissection even a lil bit, then you need to get on this band. They are not that well known, but fuck do they have talent and massive potential, especially with Steffen Kummerer being the founding member, who also happens to be the founding member of Obscura. The other founder, surprise surprise, died of suicide. It all adds to allure of the band. Well, maybe. Either way it's metal, which can be dumb as fuck, but it can also be pure fucking gold. Like this band. Like their video below. Enjoy.


Saturday, October 22, 2016

Quija: Origin Of Evil

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Possessing lil girls seems to be the way to go if  you want to scare the shit out of people. At the same time, it's played the fuck out. There's gotta be a better thing for demons to possess. Definitely not dolls nor buttholes. How about our phones? We are obsessed with them. They practically run our lives. Just an idea. That's where I saw an ad for Ouija:Origin of Evil a couple of months ago. I saw that lil girl's white eyes and I knew she could crush my pathetic scared shitless soul into a bloody pulp. And she did. But honestly only a couple of times. They could've done so much more with her. There was soooo much potential. They must have not wanted to fully unleash her evil, until the sequel? I have no fucking clue why, but it's like come on. The story was not that original and there wasn't too much gore. It was just her and she kicked ass when she was possessed. I just wanted more of it. I, however, did like the effects and the way they did her voice and eyes and mouth. I also liked how it was a bit insane. It was also definitely better than any of those other Ouija board movies. Those were just plain awful. Now, how would I rate it among other possessed movies? Say like again the Exorcist or Slither? Well, they both are 10 and this motherfucker is a 5. There I said it. Now go and watch a horror movie for fuck sakes! It's Halloween!

Best quote: "Looks like something that fell off my dick during the war."

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Underground Hip Hop at its Finest

Rap today does not suck. Sure there's a good portion that does blow a rhino's horn and I'm talking about the one below and above the belt. Willie the Kid is here to show y'all hip hop is alive and well or at least, rising above its own grave pulling worms out of its mouth and anus and pouring them into the ears of those who are willing to stay up late at night searching. Yes, the search can run for hours on end. But good music is aplenty. Don't believe me? Feast your ears and your eyes with this tasty cut. Did I mention, his whole album was done by none other than the infamous Alchemist?


Monday, October 17, 2016

The Land of Procrastination

People in California
don't buy
windshield wipers.

Until it actually
rains.

There's lines
out the doors
of every auto shop.

It makes me wonder,
if they wait
this long
for wipers,
what else
are they stalling on?

Haircuts?

Happiness?

There's no happy shop around here.

If they were more
prepared,
they might have had
a fighting
chance.

But this is California.

The land of Procrastination.


Best Underground Metal

Gruesome is some of the best metal I've heard in a long time. They are the bastard children of Death and anything ol school metal. Their sound is perfect. Their lyrics are gory as fuck. Their videos are cheesy and brutal. Their packages are large. Need I say more? Don't believe me? Check them out for yourself. Can't you smell blood in the air? I know I can. Bang your heads!

Saturday, October 15, 2016

My Favorite Movie

Everyone has idols. Mine just happens to be an asshole alcoholic, who happens to also be a poet. I like to think of him, not just as a fucked up mentor, but even as a father figure. You might know him as Charles Bukowski. When people ask me, who's my favorite author, I tell them. In response, they usually cringe and are immediately repulsed by me. I pay them no mind. They don't write. They don't even know how to live.
Below is a clip from a movie he wrote back in the 80s. Most of the lines in this movie are pure genius, but you might not be able to tell because he covers them in filth. I love every second of it. Maybe you will too. Perhaps even start digging in deeper to this asshole's assholalog.




Sunday, October 9, 2016

What's Your History?

We do not know
the history
of the world.

It is hidden
behind
the thoughts of strangers.

We do catch glimpses.

Here and there.

Checking into hotel rooms,
buying food,
having a drink,
or sitting at the park.

History unfolds itself.

The lies,
the secrets,
the blessings,
the curses,
our stories
finally told.

There are no other records
for them.

Only what we choose
to keep
in our hearts.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Brotherhood of the Traveling Man Thongs

An absurd
amount of patience
is required
when traveling,
as well as
an optimistic outlook
in the most
dismal
of places,
otherwise,
you're fucked.

Just ask
the man I saw
shitting
on the streets
during a rainy
San Francisco
night.

Friday, March 4, 2016

Worship the Sun

The sun loves me.

He touches me.

Delicately.

Caressing.

Unconditionally
loving
all of my heart
and soul.

I close my eyes
and feel him
all around me,
penetrating me,
setting my bones
on fire.

When I open them,
I look around
and feel used,

He's a whore.

He does this
to everyone.

And we all
love him back.

He gives
and gives
and gives.

Asking nothing
in return.

Well,
there is one
rule
we must
obey.

We are required
by natural law
to constantly
shit
on albinos.

He hates them
with all of his might.

This is why
they burn
in his light.

They are a
despicable race
in his fiery eyes.

I wish I could,
but I can't doubt
his wisdom.

They deserve to be
burned
alive.

Who do they thing
they are?

All white
and pure.

Do they thing
they're
God?

No.

The sun is God.

They
are bird shit.