The Lost Gift

I kept thinking
I’m fucking
My dead baby’s
Soul.

I had its blood
On my fingers, dick
And mouth.

I have never been so turned on…

Scared shitless.
Also.

I felt so
Unprepared to be a father.
The time was not right.
I,
We
Didn’t feel right
Which is why
The baby had to be
Flushed away.

We could not bring a life
Into this pathetic
World,
But there will be more
opportunities.

There will be a chance
For me
To become a
Father.

I hope one day
I’m ready.
I hope one day
I can be mature enough
To handle
This wonderful
Gift.