The Ghost Stalker

I see her face
in every part of the house.

She's stalking me
like a prowling ghost.

And just like the dead,
she's no longer
here
in the flesh.

There's no more calls,
emails,
or texts.

She's finally
rid of me.

Is this what
I wanted?

Could there have been
another way?

I guess I could have stayed
and continued
our twisted love.

I guess sometimes
things just
don't work out.

She likes fantasy.

We both did,
except our dreams
clashed.

I can't believe in
true love.

That's all she thinks about.

There were times when
I did feel
it.

Then, there were times when
there was only
pain.

Nothing else.

I couldn't stand to hurt
her
anymore.

I couldn't stand
how much
she believed in
true love.

Especially, when
it wasn't
there.

I admit,
I was selfish
and like a fool
will remain so.

I deserve to be alone
forever
with her ghost
forever
stalking me.

I Miss You Buddy

I woke up
in some random
car.

It was filthy.
Paper and trash
everywhere.

I decided to clean up.

After a couple of minutes,
My friend, Burnside,
arrives
with some of his friends.

They were in shock
to find me doing some
spring cleaning,
watching as their trash
and personal belongings
fly out the window.

"Ray,"
Burnside yelled,
"What the fuck are you doing?"

I didn't answer.
Instead,
I stumbled out
and gave them all
a hug.

"Let's go!"

Not sure where it came from,
but we got in the cab
and they
pushed me up front.

Of course,
I threw up.

Nobody knew it
at the time,
but when we got out,
they could see streaks
of vomit
on my shirt
and pants.

I laughed.

They looked at me
with disgust.

When we got back
to the house,
I changed
and they offered me
some lines.

I accepted
and immediately felt
a bolt of lightning
charging through my veins.

I was ready to party.

"What's wrong with you?"
They asked.

I didn't respond,
just sniffed away.

That's when everyone
left
including my good friend.

That's the last time
I saw him.

It might be
the last time
I ever see him
again.

I don't mind,
we had our run
and man,
we sure did go out
on top,
or at least
I did.

Either way,
I miss you buddy.

Impossibilities

It's impossible
to please everyone.

They will crush
your heart,
your creativity,
just because
they know they can.

You see,
sometimes,
everything doesn't go their way,
that's when they see
you're sensitive,
they see
your every weakness
and attack,
relentlessly,
completely fuck
your dreams
in the ass
during the worst
of your depressions.

It's all simple
You see,
you don't fit
their mold,
maybe
you never have.

What you consider
practice
and a honing
of your craft,
working on it
everyday waking second
of your life,
they consider uncool
and lame
and stupid.

Ah yes,
but
that was never the point
to you.

You never were
TRYING
to get anyone's approval,
there's no need for you to
CONSTANTLY
seek approval,
you see,
can't you fucking see,
it's impossible
to live up to their
expectations.

Impossible.

All you ever
wanted to do
was dream,
maybe one day
you can
be someone,
you can
do something,
maybe even
be proud of yourself,
maybe for once
you can forget
about working shitty jobs
you can forget
that you are just scribbling on paper,
writing useless poems or ideas,
but it's impossible.

Fucking impossible.

Even the ones you love
will eat your dreams.

I mean
just fucking put them
on the frying pan
and burn 'em
and put 'em down their throats
whole
and shit 'em out
and flush 'em away.

They didn't even bother
wiping away
the crumbs,
they left them there
and went on with their merry way
as if nothing has happened.

I guess nothing
has happened,
it's just another speed bump
among the forever expanding
labyrinth
of bumps in life
or at least,
this it what
you tell yourself.

You try and forget about it
and move on,
but for once
it bothers you, it bothers the complete fuck out of you,
and you thought it was impossible.

You were
ACTUALLY
seeking their approval.

They didn't care,
they went on
sounding cool and
being cool
and fucking everything
cool,
pointing out everything
that sucks
and making everyone else
join them,
altogether saying
look at this shit,
fucker aint like us,
shit
he's a tool,
a faggot.

You shake your head and realize
It was impossible
to seek their approval
from the beginning,
you remember
that's how it all started,
that's what inspired you
in the first place,
it's what gives you
inspiration now,
to continue to push the boundaries,
continue to fuck with their heads,
to never be cool
to forever be lame
and misunderstood,
to forever
live your life
the way
you want to
through all of these
impossibilities,
and to forever forgive
and love those,
who inspire you
and to forever
thank them
because without them,
you might not ever
be true
to yourself.

Can't you hear me?!!!

Forever be true to yourself,
do whatever the fuck you want,
no matter how weird
or lame,
and don't worry about
pleasing them,
that's impossible.

How many times
do i have to say it?

It's fucking impossible!!!!!!!!!

It's goddamn fucking IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!