The First

There I was
sleeping
outside
again.

Usually,
I somewhat
remember
how I got there,
but on this
occasion,
I did not
recall
anything.

I time traveled.

Yes,
I am
the first person
in the history
of the world
to conquer
the unconquerable.

How did I do it?

Well, well,
it was all too simple.

All I did was:
go to the bar,
had 4 beers,
leave my 5th beer
unattended,
have a stranger
roofie it.

The rest was history.

I ended up in
tomorrow.

The night was gone.

I was in my room.

My butthole hurt
a lil,
but it's a small price
to pay
for being
the first.