Horror Movie Review

Well, it's that time of year again, when zombies vomit forth from the mouth of Lucifer and feast on the tongues and breasts of all who roam the dark streets at night. It's also a time to watch nothing but piss your pants horror movies. I happen to watch these types of movies all year round, so it's just another morbid day for me.
I said in my last post that I was going to view a movie entitled, "Slaughtered Vomit Dolls." And I did for about 20 minutes, then I threw up in disgust. This movie sucked the curly, pink dick of a pig that just rolled around in his own feces. When the images of a naked, semi decent looking prostitute on a toilet appeared on my computer, I'll admit my eyes grew bigger. Then nothing really happened after that. So, I shut that horrible movie off and scoured the internet for hours in search of another not-so-well-known horror movie that would wash the taste of that other god awful movie out of my mouth.
Mouth? What's in a mouth? The tongue, gums, halitosis, leftover sperm, and teeth. Let me ask you this, are teeth found in other parts of the body? Well, according to the movie I found, there is and the incisors, molars, eyeteeth, and wisdom teeth can all be found in the bearded ax wound aka slice of heaven aka gash aka vagina. Sad, but true teeth can be found there and I could not wait to feast my eyes on the fancy panties that were on the stars of the movie, "Teeth".
The star or freak of "Teeth", played by Jess Weixler, Dawn, is a spokesperson for Christain Abstinence Group and that is a blessing considering what would happen if someone stuck their penis inside her.
This movie is hilarious and unforgettable and that is a remarkable achievement bearing in mind that this is director's Mitchell Lichtenstein's debut. He does a outstanding job at keeping me entertained throughout the entire movie, especially when Dawn's brother is introduced in the film. He is a riot. He only fucks girls in the ass, smokes weed, and listens to metal(no this character is not based on me).
One day Dawn tries to have serious conversation him, but like their relationship, it's hopeless and distant. He says he knows who she has been saving herself for and of course, he says it's himself and that he wants her to get naked and sit her pretty lil ass on his bed. She runs off getting nothing out of this "heart to heart."
Then, it happens. She goes off into this watering hole with her newfound lover and one kiss leads to another and the next thing you know she is saying for them to think pure thoughts and not to give into temptation. Meanwhile, he has other ideas and says that he has not jerked off since Easter. He then proceeds to force himself on her. Bad choice. This leaves him dickless. After this, her tooth filled vagina leads her to the doctor's office and he obviously loses his wandering fingers.
Throughout the rest of the movie, she encounters a few more dicks and proceeds to lop them off, one by one. "Teeth" makes me want to practice abstinence(like that will ever happen). I reccomend this horror-black comedy film to any girl that wants revenge on a worthless man who has taken advantage of her or for anyone that wonders what the sound of a dog chewing on a cock is like. hmm? Please find out and watch for the ultimate viewing pleasure. Merry Halloween freaks!