More ChiTown Stories

Coming up in the Room of Dreams: Review of Royce Da 5'9"s album STREET HOP(quite possibly the best hip hop album of the year) and of the Australian Western THE PROPOSITION(a brutal and beautiful movie). In the meantime, I have yet another wonderful story for you about Chicago. It involves drunkenness at it's finest and blackest. Charles Bukowski would be proud of me or he could be rolling over in his casket. I am not too sure, so I will let my meager followers be the judge.

I Think I Was Somewhere in Chicago

"Where's the nearest station?"
I asked the bouncer outside of the bar.
"It's right there," he pointed.
My bloodshot eyes followed
his long, spinning finger.
"Just two blocks ahead of us. Can't you see it?"
"I can see double," hiccup,
"I think."
"OK.
Well, you take care now."

I stumbled away
and even though the station was right in front of me,
I got lost.

Taxis were racing up and down the marooned streets,
so I pulled myself together
and flagged one of the yellow, speeding devils down.
When he stopped,
I put my hand on the door handle
and pulled,
only to slip,
land on my ass,
and smack the back of my head on the sidewalk.

The brown driver gave me a suspicious look and asked in a friendly voice,
"Are you ok?"
I started crying.
I was in stitches,
laughing and laughing and laughing
at myself.
"I feel better than a horse's cock in a virgin's ass."

My drunken legs managed to get up,
fall down,
then get up again.
I finally got it,
"Take me to Millennium Park. I'm staying right next to there."
"You got it friend."

He started the meter and took off into the empty night.

I looked down
in my wallet
to see if I had enough money to cover the ride.
It was as empty as the night.
No driver's license,
no debit card,
no credit card,
no money,
just a picture of my younger cousin
staring back up at me.

"Oh shit," I said under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing.
Listen, would you be a darling and turn on the radio. I need some music right now."
The sounds of country music
seeped through the speakers.
It was a perfect way to end a forgetful night.
Now all I needed was the icing,
so I rested my head on my hands
and threw up in my lap.