Can I Borrow $20?

They denied me.

A loan
for $20.

Not much,
but they wouldn't
give it
to me.

Reasons being:
My outstanding
delinquencies.

Loans
on top of
loans.

Money
never meant a thing
to me.

Just an
insurmountable
burden
that has caused me
much sorrow and
depression.

I just
don't seem
to get
it.

I thought
I might
go to college
get an education
and be able
to pay these fucking things
off.

With ease.

I can
barely
afford to buy
beer, even then,
just enough
to make me forget,
just enough
to make me feel
rich
in my mind,
just for a moment
or two.

Just once
I'd love
to not worry.

I can't.

They denied me.

A loan for $20.

$20.

I guess
I have to
put things into
perspective.

I have to be
thankful
for what I have.

Right now,
all I have
is you,
my paper,
my pen.

And if I keep up
my cheap, fucking stupid
lies,
I will have
nothing.

The ink will run out,
the pages will stay blank,
the love we had
will vanish,
completely.

Everything will perish.

Just like my credit.

What am I waiting for?

Let's do this.

Get it over with.

A bum
is what I'm destined
to be.

I'll just be a goddamned
bum
with nut cancer
and a horrible outlook
on life.

That's all I'll ever be.

The best I can hope for
is to keep you
around.

But I have to keep
my mouth
shut.

Who knows
for how long?

I can't keep
that act up.

I have to
accept
my fate.

Until then,
I'll have to make
every second
with you
last
an eternity.

That's really all I can do,
that's really all I'm good at,
is loving you.

By the way,
can I borrow $20?

I need gas money to come and see you.